Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
