Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
