this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
