You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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