If i come over, it means nothing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
