This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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