i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
