Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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