Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
