She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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