So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
