Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
