talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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