Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
