I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
