i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize