Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
