i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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