do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
