she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
