dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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