Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
