Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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