i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
