last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
