we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He did a backflip because drugs
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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