John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
