I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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