Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
