i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
