Pappa wants mamma naked
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
3 2 1 whiskey
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize