That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
