I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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