the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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