I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
