i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
