im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love having hate sex.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize