If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
