what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't think brook has ever known best
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
