Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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