I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
