Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
