He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
