I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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