I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
