this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well I just put wine in my tea
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
