Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the day after is always just damage control
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
