I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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