I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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