you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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