I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just pee around me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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