Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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