The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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