I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can I color on your dick again?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
