My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
