i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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