i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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