My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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