That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
