even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
