Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
