Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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