All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
