dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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