im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize