quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When are your genitals available?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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