Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
