I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
