Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize