So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
