she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
