She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
