there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
